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I hope you keep me in your thoughts
And in your memory's grace,
I've kept you all this time in mine
You've woven into them with time.

We go through life

We go through life
Some beggars and some kings,
Wishing that we had known
The secret meaning of it all.

We go through life,
As sinners or as saints
Waiting on judgment day
To say "I told you so!"

We go through life
Some old, some young,
Realization settles in at last
That Life has gone through us....

Handmade nursing top.

My latest and very useful creation is a wrap style nursing top. After searching for a pretty nursing pajama set for myself and coming up with zip I decided that I really need to make my own. Don't get me wrong there are some out there that looked half decent, but those were also really pricey and the material used will never compare with the one I have :)
 The design is from an old Burda pattern catalog and the material is bamboo "cotton" (super soft, slinky, antibacterial and sustainable) that I had purchased sometime ago with the intentions of making leggings out of. To complete the pajama set I will likely need to buy more of the same fabric and make those leggings anyway...but I love the feel and practicality of this top so much that I am going to buy up some more colorful fabric and make a few variations. Super excited on making more of these!

 

Yep....that's me daydreaming of the ease I will be able to breastfeed my little mammoth with at night! 

"he"

I sit here now
Upset, but not surprised.
And if I cared so much
Why have I not yet cried?
Let truth be known;
I melt at all his words
So why can't he, me melt away?
Our useless conversation
Brings us to no success
I sit here now bewildered
For what of us becomes.
Perhaps I am lamenting
For what I have not done
He said so much to make me think
But he; said nothing to me.

***This poem dates back to my first marriage...I guess back to the very first scruples I started to have about our imbalanced relationship. It's like one day he stopped "getting" me or I outgrew him and stopped "letting" him in. In either case the poem was really self-confessional. It was about recognizing the moment in time when it all was not going as it should, and admitting to myself that the feelings were no longer what they were.  An awakening from self denial...at least it was on paper. I however did not think of it as such at the moment nor did I make my feelings known at that time.

Before the lies

I forced myself to end it
And never see your face.
I know that you don't want me
I wish you'd let me know

Before those things you said
Before we drank the wine
Before you were my friend
I wish, you would have warned me.

You lie to me and say;
That I misunderstood
You lie, you knew!
The message you were sending

You knew, I was affected
You knew, I lost, all sense.

my oil creation

I haven't picked up the brush in at least 6 years now so this here is an old painting, however hanging very proudly in my kitchen now. I never had any formal schooling with painting except for a few private group lessons with mostly middle school kids :) when I was 20. However brief those lessons were (maybe 4-5 total) I gained quite a lot of perspective there as well as confidence. This here is one of the works I created while in attending, it was a study of a still life which were plastic flowers in this case. I think the most difficulty I had was with the background, which was a simple pink wall, however painting it simply pink was not good enough. This is when my teacher told me repeatedly "look at the wall...what color do you see?" and I would answer "pink" and then she would say "but there is so much more there than pink." I honestly began to think that either this woman was mad or that I was just going blind. Well in fact after she explained to me that everything around us reflects colors on to us and on to other objects I started searching for those other colors in the wall and on the glass table where the vase was standing. At first I just painted random colors that the teacher had suggested are there and that I "thought" were there, later however I think I actually began to "see" the very same madness this woman was referring to.......
I was ecstatic.