Amigurumi Kitty Cat

So for my second Amigurumi creation I've made a pink Kitty made of 100% organic cotton. As this is going to be a gift not intended for a baby I made the eyes using lucite buttons as oppose to just weaving them on like I did with the bunny. I'm liking the look of the eyes though so I may invest in some safety eyes for my next project.

 

Heavy Heart

With heavy heart
and broken knee
I fall to you for mercy.
May you have mercy on this soul
The damned to torment being.
I can but offer love to you,
Tis' all that I possess.
If I, to you; had more to give
I swear, that you may have it!
I fall to you, with heavy heart
that's filled with longiness to brim
Won't you just bless me with a smile?
And draw a shade, on light so grim?
My heart so yearns to be with yours
Tis' heavy now as lead!
There is no hope that it may float
for sure it will be drowned.

Upcycled longies!

 
    I finally got around to cutting up some old sweaters and sewing longies for Evan. Here is Evan's first pair in a gorgeous purple grape color :) I found quite a few tutorials online on to how to do this however having experience in sewing pants I knew that a lot of them did not take into consideration the fact that pants are always slightly bigger and taller on the backside in comparison to the front. SO if you just cut off the sleeves and sew them together your pants won't have the proper proportions to accommodate the super cute baby bum. However I did find one very clear tutorial that showed how to take all of this into account and make super cute and easy longies...HERE

I also went one further and snipped off the bottom ribbing off the sweater and folded that in half, encased the elastic in it and used that for the waistband!

                                                                 And one "action" shot :)

Organic wild blueberry preserves recipe...

I've been  a die hard fan of fruit preserves from childhood. I especially loved a huge dollop of raspberry preserves in my farina hot cereal (very typical breakfast back in Russia). I must say that there are quite a few very good fruit preserves (not to be confused with spreads and jams) out there but really nothing tastes quite like home-made :) On my husbands recent trip to visit his grandmother in Russia last year he brought back a small bottle of wild blueberry preserves made by his grandma....i died and went to heaven the moment I tried it, yes it was that good.  Why I only thought of making my own preserves a year after that is beyond me, but I finally gave it a shot and I must say I am never going back to store bought preserves again. You wouldn't believe how ridiculously easy it is to make it on your own! So here goes my recipe for success:

Supplies:  
A glass jar with a twist on lid (from any previous store bought preserves or jams is fine)
 A large pot to accommodate the above mentioned glass jar and lid with metal/ heat resistant tongs and ladle.
A smaller cooking pot to accommodate the amount of berries you have.

Ingredients:
A pound (to a 1 1/2) of frozen or fresh organic wild blueberries 
A cup of sugar ( i use raw sugar)
juice of half a lemon

In a bowl combine the blueberries with the sugar and let stand at least an hour to have them let out some juice ( the frozen ones will have a lot more juice :) Then transfer to your small cooking pot and bring to a boil, mix gently, reduce heat, add the lemon juice and simmer for at least 20-30 minutes more while mixing gently through out. If you are using fresh berries some may fall apart during the cooking process (this is normal) I found that the smaller wild frozen berries tend to keep their shape longer through the cooking process.
While the berries are cooking wash your glass jar, lid tongs and ladle in hot soapy water. Fill the large pot with water, deposit all the above supplies into it and bring to a boil. This will keep your container and utensils sterile. You can keep this pot at a slight simmer once it has boiled while your preserves are cooking.
Once you are ready make sure to use precautions when handling the hot items...as they will be very hot. Remove your glass jar from the water with your tongs (use an insulated glove or towel for the tongs) shake off any excess water from within the jar and place on the counter (on a heat resistant pad first) then using your sterile ladle fill the jar with the made preserves almost to the top. Then with your sterile tongs (make sure to keep them in the hot water when not using and do not lay on the counter or elsewhere it is not sterile) remove your sterile lid from the hot water, shake off any excess water and place the lid on your jar. Then twist your jar shut ( I have my hubby do this step) just cause the jar is hot not because it is hard to twist it close, although he does have more oomph in his arm :). As it cools the residual heat will suck in the lid more creating a barrier. Once the jar is cooled you can run your finger over the top of the lid and notice that the center is sucked in and not popping up like on an already previously opened jar.

The preserves can be stored on the shelf for quite sometime, I dare say 6 months to a year when done right. Once you've opened them just make sure to refrigerate them and they should keep in the fridge for a few months too. Honestly they won't even last a month in your home if you are a preserves lover like I am :)

It's done!

So yeah, this month is really turning into a knit-for-all kind of time...already finished a scarf for hubby and this very soft and warm faux pleat skirt made of alpaca and wool. I used a pattern from knitpicks.com (only $1.99) also got the gorgeous yarn there! SO proud of myself for finishing this in such short time span and learning some knitting techniques along the way! (thanks YouTube) Since I only knew how to knit loops prior to this... now I can knit, purl, cast on, bind off, cast on in the middle of my work and sew seams!

Love to me

Are you a curse?
No, I don't believe so,
I must be cursed
oh yes, that's true!
Most everyone I meet, I love
Most everyone I hate, I've loved
So fast & cunning is my Love
So soft & fickle is my heart.
Lust is a nutrient to me,
It is my drug of choice.
Life is a trinket without love
To me it's all but useless.

So often the fool...

After reading some of my former poems to my husband recently he was very keen in pointing out to me on how I often refer to myself as a "fool" in them. I said, yeah you're right I do indeed think myself as a love crazed fool quite often! It took another pair of eyes or ears in this case to point this very interesting repetition of my own character revealed in my work. Here is one example here.

There is nothing more to say
I see it much too clear
Though ignorance is bliss,
The pretty color's truth.
and I am tired of denial
There is no hope of love.
Though you have played me for a fool,
I walk away unharmed.
And I shall keep it thus
Your games do not concern me,
I've lost my hope with you
Yet I still keep my heart.
There is no room for anger
I am not mad at you,
You are confused of your own will
and leave no room for air.
What might have been,
is useless now,
The chance is lost
The time forgotten.

More hand-made toys!

 

My latest addition to the handmade toys collection is an organic cotton french terry ball. This one was a quick and easy sew out of 6 identical pieces on my sewing machine then stuffed with poly-fill. I think I'll make one more with bells inside. Evan seems to love playing with it a lot! 

My Amigurumi Creation!

My latest project was a crochet "Amigurumi" blue bunny.I think I managed rather well considering I never crocheted before in my life. It's nice to be able to create something for my son to play and chew on. The over-sized ears are a major hit with him :)  I noticed he loved chewing on his knit booties quite ardently so I came to thinking that I wanted to knit him a toy. Apparently there is a whole Japanese art of knitting or crocheting little stuffed animals! These little toys are made by crocheting in the round one stitch at a time. Kind of makes you think of life while creating it as everything builds stitch by stitch or as the more popular phrase brick by brick. On the whole I found this project pretty easy, once you know how to crochet with a hook and increase/decrease stitches you're pretty much good to go. I used 100% cotton yarn for this guy but next time I'll make one of organically grown cotton, so I feel really at ease about him constantly sucking and chewing on it.

Autumn baking :) Butternut Squash Pie Recipe

By popular request here is my latest recipe to a delicious creation...Butternut Squash Pie.

What you will need:
  9" or 9.5" inch glass baking pie dish
  pie crust; pre-made or you can make your own. Great quick and easy recipe here:
 ( http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/paulas-perfect-pie-crust-recipe/index.html )
  1 1/2- 2 cups baked mashed organic butternut squash
  3/4 cup creme fraiche  or organic sour cream
  3/4 cup sugar
  3 organic eggs
  1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
  1/4 teaspoon salt

 Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees

Place all the ingredients into a mixing bowl and whisk thoroughly. Then pour mixture into your pie crust and bake for 45-55 minutes depending on your oven. When pierced with a knife it should come out clean as an indication that your pie is done. Let cool and enjoy with a generous dollop of homemade whipped cream!

Remembering the thrill

So last week my husband made me the ultimate surprise by gifting me with a NokiaD90 digital camera. Our latest digital camera was beginning to slowly but surely die on us and was really frustrating me with its shortcomings. So yes I was expecting a new standard point and click camera for our daily needs as a young family. I did not expect my husband to go all out and getting me such a professional grade little jewel :)
Let me just say this camera can point and shoot just great and super quick so I never miss a movement again! However, it wasn't until I went into manual mode that I remembered what taking pictures was all about to me. The control of the aperature was a dream I longed for ever since I stopped using my regular camera and moved to a digital one. The colors are vivid, the auto functions are brilliant and yes again it is so super quick! On my very first picture I said Ahhhh; this is what a camera should do! On my 90th or so shot I was in love with photography all over again.
(Here are some shots starring our son)

March 31st

I haven't worn my watch,
since the 30th of March.
The day my water broke
On the last morning of March

I look upon it gleefully
The symbol of time passed.
As it lies there happily,
Unwilling to move on.

Its arrows stopped and silent,
the date, forever frozen.
To mark the day my life did alter
Forever then, forever after.

A Game

This is a game I bet,
You can not care for me.
I am a toy for your huge hands
Which drop, as soon as they do hug.

You bounce me on your knee,
But soon your mind will wander
and there I am still bouncing,
Without your knee's support.

It is a joke I know,
But somehow I'm not laughing.
I know the subject of your joke
Is no one else but me!

*2003-2004*

The quiet isn't as maddening

The quiet isn't as maddening
as I have always known it to be.
For really two halves of one being
rarely must check with each other.

Companionship, can be,
as quiet or loud, as one wishes.
But really no words need be said,
if the souls have spoken already.

With time Love grows steady & deeper
as serene as the flow of a river
once it gets over the falls;
the trepidations of lust & the quiver.

So silence, is not to be feared
It can, be rather rewarding,
for two halves now joined as one being
Do ponder with only one mind!

The Sweetest things

So many lines on paper
They all do come to my own lips,
But hear them you may not
For you have chosen not to!
So I persist to say these words
Not in the air but paper,
They're all the sweetest things
That you, choose not to hear!

Hail

Unspoken words, those little
drops of hail,
Collecting slowly as they fall
Inside the lonely soul.
If only strength it had,
To let that river flow
On to the object of desire
To let those feelings show.
And speak those silent drops,
Unspoken for so long...

*2003*

My late night project!

So the last item I sewed were a pair of leggings while I was still pregnant with Evan...phew that was a good 6 months ago at least. My Singer has started to collect a nice layer of dust when along come my new brown leather boots! Yayyy and booo since my favorite brown hippie bag has been out of commission for some time due to a broken strap. So after a much needed nudge from my hubby (thanks hubby :) I mustered the strength and courage to dissect it from the inside and attempt to fix the strap. At first the task filled me with much fear and anxiety however once I got going it was easy and super fast (less than an hour in total). Here are some pics to share:

the starting point

Dissecting the lining..view from inside out

Voile! The finished product! 

Damaged

I fear I'm damaged in some way
I know it is your fault!
Your sick perversions overcame
My sweet lost innocence that day.

You'd think you would be trusted,
Trusted and bound by blood!
But no, you this have ravaged;
my heart and soul forever damaged...

I find your excuses lame
and your portrayal of parenthood shameful.
I find you are still much too cold,
So little to show and call progress.

Of Him II

Forgive me,
For I can't.
I fell in love
With your fair form.
I have not felt such ecstasy
I melt inside your arms,
Your touch; is heavenly to me
Your breath; of Zeus.
The never-ending ocean in your eyes
Has left me feeling weak.
Your warm embraces drive me wild,
I never felt so overpowered.
Your hands are different galaxies to me
I've never held such beauty.
My fingers overjoyed with life
When they just touched your skin
Your eyebrows, perfect as they are
I wouldn't dare to touch.
And every particle of you
Tingles my senses,
There are so many I can name,
Yet words, won't do them justice.


*2003-2005*

You fancy me a lover

I find it hard to write to you,
of you, about you ever.
There's not a lack of thoughts,
but more, a swelling of them.

Forgive me, for I'm blunt.
And poetry, is but a hobby.
I crave your sweet drawn words,
and quite glances in the lobby.

For your exploring hands
have nearly just begun,
yet every touch is conscious,
played off as simple fun.

And you were right to say;
You fancy me a lover.
For that is what I am.
The craving's hard to cover.

I'd like to say it's easy
looking in your eyes,
But truly you must know,
that lust lies down inside.

It can not be, I know it.
But I do like you near
caressing, with a gentle touch,
my lonely rounded knee.

Separate bedrooms, a not so novel idea?

So having become a full time mom and fully dedicating myself to breastfeeding 100% I found that having my baby near me makes it a whole lot easier to get some sleep during the night, as oppose to getting up, walking to the crib picking him up, feeding etc..all through the night. Now this arrangement worked just swell until our son started to wiggle about and pushed my husband slowly but surely out of the bedroom. What a "horror" you  must think to yourself, right? Wrong. A few months in, we began to see the beauty of having some occasional space between us. I now realize why back in the day...way back it was the norm to have two master suites one for the lady of the house and one for the man of the house. Although our decision stemmed from a necessity for much desired rest for all of us, I can see us creating a second bedroom in the future just for the heck of it. Now don't get me wrong having separate bedrooms does not necessarily mean always sleeping apart, however it does make sleeping together a whole lot more special...just like you felt when you first met and the sparks were flying and you never wanted to leave this persons side since it must have physically hurt you to do so.
Well perhaps I over exaggerate, but think of Romeo and Juliet that must have rejoiced to heaven in those few moments that they had together. How utterly romantic new love is. Well if Romeo and Juliet were married like the rest of us and shared a bedroom each and every night...what a bore would have become of them in 5 or 10 years time. There would be absolutely no mystery left but simply the mundane existence day in and day out. That is the "tragedy" of many marriages now a days that can't seem to get a grasp on things or to be more frank can't let go of the grasp on each other.
Plus having the two different rooms gives all the more choice of where you would like to spend the night or if you simply want to pop in for a surprise visit, or for some even setting a date and time can be a form of foreplay. As we all know it is all in the anticipation that much of the fun lies. That and having some time to miss your partner makes all those little touches that used to drive you wild...really drive you wild.

   Interested to know your opinions on the matter, please take the featured poll and let me know---->>>>>>>>>

"If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life."

This quote is by Oscar Wilde. I cracked up after reading this and thought I'd share it.
Hope it made you smile. Oscar Wilde always cracked me up. His play "The Importance of Being Earnest" is one of my all time favorites. I am now in the middle of reading his "Lady Windermere's Fan" play and I am all smiles :)
You can read his works over and over and it doesn't get old...fascinating!
Or in his own words:
"If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all."
Oscar Wilde

New kind of Love

To think that cell by cell
and part by part
From tiny codes of DNA
My body made you living!

It's hard to fathom and believe
at times that I am; mother.
And know the tiny being is, my own.
Made of This flesh and bone.

The seed, once planted now takes root.
A whole new kind of love is now afoot.

Leaves of Autumn

You left me hanging in the wind
Like withered leaves of Autumn.
Unsure of certain death,
or to hold on to life.
At times your branches
shook, too rough
and holding on was tough.
At times, your branches reached
"Hold On!" they me beseeched.
And in the end the leaves; dismayed
confused, refused...forgotten.
Dropped slowly to their tomb,
The icy earth, of Winter.

Of Him

How could it be,
I melt each time I see him.
How could it be,
I swoon seeing his eyes.
How could it be,
I tremble when I hear his step.
How could it be,
His voice is just so sweet.

He looks the man,
but in his eyes the boy,
He speaks the part
but hides the better one.
He acts mundane,
Yet in his step is edge.

He rules with joy
The hidden world of feelings,
He smiles, for he knows,
Why I took all these steps.
He's quite and reserved
Which leaves me quite unnerved.


*this is from my collection between 2003-2005.*

Still Reminiscing...

 


This was at the South Street Sea Port oh I dear say around year 2000. The Towers were still standing as I got some very good pictures of them that day. I'll get around to posting them too sometime soon as this was before everyone and everything on this planet went digital so I have to break out the ole scanner, hehe.
I remember fondly the days I spent in the darkroom washing away in a number of chemical baths the very images you see here. The process of developing your own film in itself was very therapeutic as are many mediums of art.  

Reminiscence of E.C.

How impressionable a young mind is! I knew you only then, those few impressionable years. Yet, I do still recall the gloves that were your gift. I never in my life have recalled another gift so often into memory. It is as though those words you told me were engraved upon my heart and memory. I do remember them, and carry them with me, always. It's strange how certain memories live on. And even though those gloves are now long ripped ago, I still, look upon my new bought gloves and think of you with fondness. I miss you terribly at times. I miss your presence in my life. I miss your voice...so wise and yet so flamboyant. You are a person in my heart I can't describe the term for it. You are not lover in it, you're not the father, I'd call you friend but I do confess you are not simply friend. I look to you for something that I do dearly miss...but what it is, I can not clearly formulate.

Golden sunlight

I miss the golden sunlight
The smell of fresh dewed grass
Birds singing in the morning
And cricket sounds at night

The sound of trains and buses
Sedated faces, left and right
Mundane rush hour traffic
This, I can live without

To see the vast green pastures
And smell the Autumn rain
To live like God intended,
Is something, I won't do without.

Trust Lost

What do I know of Love?
What do I know of Hearts?
I Reckon I don't know that much
For I did think I was in Love


And is there such; commitment?
One with the other, until the end of time.
Can truly such exist,
Can I love thee forever?
It seems our love 's a sham
Where did the lie begin?
Where can it end, if ever?
How can it work for you and me
If We can't trust each other?
Our goals seem to be separate
Our reason drifting senselessly apart.
Perhaps this never was to be,
And we are fools at trying.

I can forgive you as a friend
but as your wife I can not do it.
I can not think of kissing you
Of hugging, touching, sleeping with you.
I may have sympathy and love,
Yet it is not the lovers love.
I have no urge to run into yours arms
I have no urge to kiss and hug you.
I feel my heart has closed its doors,
for fear of more offenses.



* I wrote this back in 2005 during my first marriage that lasted from the time I was 19 to 21 years of age.